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How to guide children through a child custody struggle

Virginia parents who are able to place the needs of their children above their own interests are able to move through the process of divorce differently than those who assume a battle stance. Such parents are able to realize that divorce and child custody issues can provide a valuable learning opportunity for the children who are at the center of these matters. While it can be difficult to reframe the way that we think about these issues, doing so can help children learn positive ways to handle adversity and strife.

For example, parents should always strive to model the behaviors that they would expect their children to exhibit when a difficult situation arises. Just as most parents would redirect a child who issued an angry outburst at a playmate, parents should be aware of the manner in which they speak of each other while in the presence of their children. Doing so demonstrates that even when people are at odds with one another, it is important to treat each other with respect.

Another lesson that kids in Virginia can learn from the divorce of their parents is that there is always good to be found in life, even during times of difficulty. This is best modeled by spending far more time talking about those things for which you are grateful than lamenting the things that will be lost within the new family structure. This helps kids to establish a daily habit of considering the good parts of their day, rather than focusing on the negatives.

When Virginia parents are committed to changing the way that they view divorce and child custody, an unexpected benefit often results. By modeling the ideals that we wish our children to embody, we can incorporate those beliefs and actions into our own daily lives. Doing so can lead to a far less contentious divorce process, and a higher level of serenity for both parents and children.

Source: Huffington Post, Divorce As a Teaching Tool, Allison Pescosolido, Nov. 21, 2013

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